Forgiveness
by Othiara
Summary: Nathan is keeping a secret from Audrey. He's not sure if he should tell her or how.


Nathan wasn't sure who he should tell, or if he should tell anyone. Audrey had a right to know. It was her kid. But how could you bring something like that up casually? He felt awkward just thinking about it. Would they still remain friends if he told her? Their friendship was more important than anything to him. He wanted to stay close to her. So he would keep it to himself, at least for now.

There she was. She walked up to his desk with purpose.

"We've got a case. It's at 432 East Oakwood Drive. They didn't say what was wrong." She looked at her partner expectantly. He had only heard about half of what she had said, he was so lost in his own thoughts. He glanced up and refocused his attention to her.

"You okay?" at his nod, she continued, "Come on, Stan gave us a case. I've got the site but not the problem."

"Alright, let's go." He drove in silence. He hated lying to her. He hadn't even had to tell her a lie yet, but he was keeping the truth from her and he felt guilty. They were partners, after all, and this was something she deserved to know. Despite his inner turmoil, Nathan didn't say the things that he should say. They rode on in silence.

Finally, they got there. Nathan wondered what this person's trouble was, if it was a trouble. He knocked lightly on the door and it pushed open. He peered in. It looked like no one had lived here for weeks, maybe even months. He turned back to Audrey.

"Are you sure we got the right address? This place looks deserted." He moved aside to let her look in. She went into the empty house, taking careful note of the dust layer and messiness of the place.

"It doesn't look like this guy-or girl- had a lot of time to pack up. I'm guessing they didn't move away. Maybe someone took them by force. They might already be dead." Audrey looked to Nathan for his response. He shrugged.

"Maybe they went out for vacation and forgot to lock the door. Or it might be a trouble."

"That's probably right," she said with a nod, " but that still leaves me with a question. Who called Stan?" She wandered deeper into the house. She found some stairs. Nathan followed a couple of steps behind. She knelt over the bottom stairs.

"Blood," she said, gesturing at the stairs. Nathan leaned over to look and saw that she was right. The blood had dried into the carpeting on the stairs. He walked cautiously up the steps. Then he heard a voice. He couldn't make out the words, but he knew that voice. The chief. His dad. Now he was certain it was him. He had to find him. He traveled toward the voice until he was jogging and then running.

"Nathan! What are you doing?" Audrey was calling out for him behind him, but he ignored her. He could hear the chief. It wasn't much further now. He would be in the next room.

Nathan was in the doorway of the room. He walked in. It was a bedroom, probably belonging to a little boy. It had collected many toy trains, baseball cards, and action figures on its floor. It also had a chess set that was half set up sitting in the corner. Nathan didn't pay any attention to these details. The only part of this room that interested him was his father standing in front of him. He couldn't hear the words any better in here than he could when he was in the hallway, but he didn't mind. Audrey cleared her throat. He turned and saw her standing in the doorway of the room. She had caught up with him. She was looking at him like she was crazy or dangerous. Couldn't she see the chief?

"Nathan? Are you alright? Why did you run in here?"

"Can't you see?"

"See what? Look, maybe we should get out of here. Someone's trouble is probably affecting you but not me. That's why I can't see whatever you're seeing." This wasn't a trouble. How could this be a trouble? The chief was as real to him as Audrey, perhaps more so. he didn't answer her, but backed away toward the wall. Then, suddenly, the lights flickered out. They came back on a second or two later, but when they did the chief had disappeared. So had the door. It seemed to have somehow melted into the wall. It looked like there had never been a door there. Audrey ran up and inspected the wall where it had been. She pounded against it, but quickly gave up and sat down next to a model train set.

"So, what do we do now?" Nathan didn't reply because he wasn't sure. He felt very foolish now. Of course it had been a trouble. The chief was dead. He wanted to get out. It would be harder for him to keep this secret from her when they were in confined quarters together. He hated how, in his head all day he been comparing her to Sarah. He just hoped she wouldn't find out.

"Well, I guess we're stuck here, at least for the night. Unless your cell phone has reception?" he shook his head, "I suppose we should just get some rest, then, and figure it out in the morning." Her voice was commanding, but also uncertain and a little shaky. She sounded tired. There was a long pause in which they silently agreed which one of them would take the bed and which would sleep on the floor. Audrey climbed into a bed that was definitely made more for 7-year-old boys than her, while Nathan tried to make himself comfortable on the floor. Audrey eventually broke the silence.

"What were you seeing?" She rolled over slightly so she could see his face.

"The chief." At least he had told her the truth about that. He would tell her the truth about the other thing in the morning, he decided. He hated keeping it from her.

She nodded, "It was probably someone's trouble. A trouble that makes you see dead people and makes doors disappear. I guess we'll figure that out in the morning too." He knew it was wrong, but he longed to crawl into bed with her, to feel her skin against his. He remembered what it had been like with Sarah. He could feel everything that she did to him out there on the beach. It would be the same way with Audrey. They shared the same body, after all. He resisted the temptation, though, and hated that he would compare his time with Sarah to his time with Audrey. He had no control over that, though, and eventually he fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

When he awoke, Nathan wished that work could occupy his whole day so that dirty thoughts didn't occupy his mind the time. Audrey was still asleep. She looked beautiful. A moment like this hadn't happened with Sarah, where he could just look and enjoy.

Audrey blinked her eyes open and climbed out of bed. Nathan turned his eyes away so it wouldn't look like he had stared. Her eyes seemed to go right to him. It was like she was studying him. Nathan didn't comment on this odd behavior. She finally turned away.

"We need to get out of here. Now." Nathan wasn't sure if she was anxious to get out because she needed some things that she couldn't find in a young boy's bedroom or because they had been so awkward the day before. However, he heartily agreed. He wished his brain would stop fantasizing about her.

Audrey sighed, "Any service now?" Nathan checked again, but there was none.

"Is there usually?" She seemed frustrated. She collapsed on the unmade bed and put her head in her hands. Nathan came toward her, but she scooted away.

"I had a really weird dream last night. It wasn't a normal dream, it was like those memory flashes I used to get. This time I was Sarah. I was sitting on a beach in a dress, having a picnic. It was nice out. The sun was high in the sky. Then the screen pans out and there you are, sitting next to me, having this picnic with me. You get up to leave, but then you come back and you, um, well, we kiss, and then, um, we..." she flushed bright red and suddenly looked very embarrassed, "It was probably nothing. Definitely just a weird dream, not a memory flash." Nathan wasn't sure how to respond. He had never guessed she might get one of her dreams that would tell her. Should he tell her it was true or just go along and not say anything? He knew he needed to tell the truth; it had eating away at him since yesterday. Besides, he had said he would tell her today and he would.

"Um, Audrey, that really happened. It _was _a memory flash. It happened when me and Duke went back in time to 1955. And I think, maybe I might be James Cogan's father." He wondered how she would take this news. He watched her expression change. It was a mixture of shock and anger. She got up from the bed and moved across the room from him.

"How could you do that? Why would you? Is it because she looks like me? She's not me, Nathan. How can I trust you if you would do that?" Nathan opened his mouth to try to explain himself, though he wasn't sure what he could say, but she cut him off.

"Was it because you can feel her? Is that why you like me too?" Tears ran down her face. She didn't brush them off.

"I can't wait till we get out of here," she muttered. She collapsed on the floor. A phone started ringing.

"I thought you said there was no reception. Stop lying!" Her voice was harsh and angry.

"There wasn't. It must have just come back." He grabbed the phone out of his pocket and saw that it was Stan calling. He answered.

"Hello?" Nathan picked up the phone.

"Chief? Where have you been? We sent out a search party to find you. They haven't seen you. Where are you?"

"We were at the address you gave us. 432 East Oakwood Drive."

"What? Someone deserted that place years ago. I didn't give you that address." Nathan glanced at Audrey, but didn't feel like he should start questioning her yet.

"Well, can you come pick us up anyway? We're kind of locked in." However, just as he said that, the door reappeared.

"Sure, though I'm not sure how that would've happened. I don't think the doors over there are kept locked." By the time he had said that, they had both emerged from the front doors.

"Thanks, Stan, but we just managed to get out. You don't need to send anyone down." He hung up and lead the way over to the truck. Audrey got in the passenger seat. Neither of them said a word on the way to The Grey Gull, where Audrey rented. As soon as Nathan had pulled over into the parking lot, Audrey got out.

"I'm sorry," he said. He was sure she had heard him, but she kept walking like she hadn't. She wasn't ready to forgive him yet. Maybe someday she would be. Maybe he didn't deserve forgiveness.


End file.
